It happened to Nancy...

My name Is Amber, I live a life that no one would want to live. I was lied to by a guy named "Collin". He said he was eighteen. He saved my life after I was close to getting a asthma attack. We imidatly fell in love or at least I did. His love was filled with lies. 18 he said he was, but really he was 21 when I was only 14.One day when my mom was out of town I had invited him to my house. We had a nice dinner alone, I had told him he had to leave my house by midnight. Once it was midnight and I was walking him to my door he carried me in to my moms bedroom he threw me on the bed where I was raped. My no one was there to see it. Theirs no prove but me and the HIV virus that he gave me. Now I have to suffer. Now I have to die suffering much more then I probably would of. Now I have the HIV virus. I should of never token a shower after I was raped they could of found my rapist much esair. After everything he had told me was a lie with just made It hard for him to be found. He lied about his age, about his parent, about hi school. Everything he had told me about him was a lie. What am I suppose to say to my mom or my dad but now I have to deal with my mom after Im living with her. I'm scared about her reaction. I don't want the cops to find out about this. I don't want to make a big deal about this.

A while has now passed after that incident. I now have a boyfriend I don't know whether to tell him or not. I don't want him to leave me I love him so much. My mom knows about it now. She was really mad at Collin. She had called the cops, there looking for him. Its Impossible to find him though. I haven't told my friends about the accident, I don't know how to do it. What if they don't want to be my friends anymore? I cant live with out them. Their everything I have other then my parents and my boyfriend. I don't know how to come out to everyone and tell them about the HIV virus, what if they make fun of me? what if they don't want to touch me? I like the way my life is as in a social way I don't really want that to change. As yo can see by now my life is sure not the best one. I know there is much others with bad lifes but mine is defanatly one of the bad ones. The worst thing Is I don't know whats next, I don't know when I'm going to die witch just makes things worst.